Doctor

I am getting dressed C spots a tshirt in my drawer.
C: Oh! Oh! Wear that one! With Harry Potter!
Me: Who is on it?
C: I mean Doctor.
Me: Doctor Who?
C (thoroughly disgusted): That is not Doctor Who! Mom! That is Doctor Horrible!

C 5 years old

Cereal killers

I pour a bowl of cereal for C. Turn to Z...
Me: want some cereal?
Z: I want some life.
Me: C just got the last of it. All we have is cheerios.
Z: Dang it!
C: You can have my life and I'll have cheerios.
Z: Aww! Thanks C!
C bursts into tears.
Me: What's wrong?!
C: I don't like cheerios!!
Me: then why did you offer?!
C: I didn't think he would accept!

Z 8 years old
C 5 years old

Knock Knock

Chelsea just walked up to me... Knock Knock!
Me: Who's there?
Chels: uhh... I thought that would make you do the joke...

C 4 years old

Cheetah

Zach: What do you hope your fortune says?
Chels: I hope mine says i will grow up to be a cheetah!

Z 7 years old
C 4 years old

Free suckers

Zach: I love free suckers they always taste so much better then suckers you have to buy.


Z 7 years old

lessons

I was singing to my kids before bed tonight and Zach tells me "Mom, I think for your birthday I am going to tell dad singing lessons would be a good idea. You need someone to teach you what singing is supposed to sound like"


Z 7 years old

paint my nails?

Chelsea: Hey, mamma? Can you paint my nails now?

Me: Hey, kiddo? You know I'm in the shower, right?

Chelsea:  Yeah, thats ok. I'll just hand you the bottle and stick my hand in!

C 4 years old