Imaginary Friend

C: My imaginary friend is the first dog ever. His name is Dead Cookie but he's not dead. His last secret is that he likes to wear shoes. He rides motorcycles and surfboards. And he goes to 7-11. And everytime he goes bowling he knocks down every pin.

C 5 years old

Something Black

Z and C are playing I Spy.
C: I spy something black.
Z guesses and guesses.
Z: I give up. What is it?
C: Its mamma!
Z: uhh.... she's not black....
C: Well, she's a sassy lady so she is kinda black.
WTF who teaches my kids these things?!

Z 8 years old
C 5 years old