Dark Crystal

Brandon: we are going to watch The Dark Crystal. It came out the year after mom was born.
Zach: that sounds really old. Old stuff is boring.


Z 6 years old

Lola

Zach knows that I have gotten him a super awesome Christmas gift this year. He has been pretty good about not trying to figure it out but today he told me that his dad spilled the beans and he knew what it was. He then explained to me that his dad told him that we got an elephant for our family gift.

So I went with it. I told him that we did and she is a baby. Her name is Lola and she is a pygmy elephant. She wont get too big so we can keep her at our house. How cool is that! For some reason he no longer believes it true. But I kind of wish it was. I want a Lola! He also told me that his dad didn't really tell him, he was trying to trick me. Little stinker.


Z 6 years old

Technology

Watching the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas special with the kids.
Me: this is what the chipmunks looked like when I was a kid. I used to like then too.
Zach: you mean when you were a teenager?
Me: no when I was a kid.
Zach: mom, stop trying to trick us. Technology wasn't invented yet when you were a kid.


Z 6 years old

Boobs

Chelsea: what ya doing mom?

Me: getting ready. I just have to get a bra.

Chelsea: what's a bra? Wait! I know! The thing that pushes your boobs up, right?

A bad name

I was singing You Give Love a Bad Name to Chelsea and she came over and hugged me and said 'I'm so sorry mamma!'

C 4 years old

Doing what?

Chelsea: little bunny foo foo humping through the forest....

C 4 years old

Best year

Me: Zach, you only have 2 1/2 days of school left before Christmas!

Zach: What is a half day?

Me: Monday and Tuesday are regular days and Wednesday is a short day. I was thinking on Thursday we would go to a movie or something.

Zach: This is really the best year of my life!

Me: Aww! That makes my heart full of happiness!

Zach: Yeah, it just gives me a tummyache.



Z 6 years old

No it isn't

Me to Brandon: 'So, Zachs birthday is on a Saturday so we can figure out what we are going to do'

Zach: 'No its not! Its not mom! Not Saturday!'

Me: 'What are you talking about? What day do you want it to be on?'

Zach; 'The right day! Its not on a Saturday! Its on the 21st!!'


Z 6 years old

Stretching

I'm buying jeans for chelsea for the first time in over a year. She tries them on and tells me 'man, these kind of pants make it hard to do my stretches!

C 4 years old

Gramma Greats

We are at a retirement residence for Chelsea to do a little performance. Zach and I are standing and waiting for it too begin and little old ladies keep walking by and poking him and talking to him. One gave him a chocolate candy. He said to me 'its a place full of gramma greats! Thats so awesome!'

C 4 years old
Z 6 years old

Feliz Navidad

Chelsea: Police Mommy Dog! Police Mommy Dog! I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas! Ohhhh, Police Mommy Dog!

(to the tune of Feliz Navidad. and she does think she is singing the right words, its not a remake)

C 4 years old

Pizza

Zach locked Chelsea out of the bedroom. She is knocking on the door.

'Ugh! Your pizza is here, man! You gotta pay for this thing, dude!'

C 4 years old
Z 6 years old

Polar Express

Watching Polar Express with the kids and every time anything exciting happens Chelsea starts jumping up and down and clapping her hands 'I REALLY REALLY have to go on that train, guys!' 'I cant wait for my turn on that train! I'm totally going on that giant present slide!'


C 4 years old

Indiana Solo

Zach playing SIP, his own mash up of Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Pirates of the Caribbean.

'Han Solo, wait what is his name again?? Oh yeah, Indian Jones. I have no idea why I keep mixing them up. It doesn't make sense. They aren't even anything alike!'


Z 6 years old

Boring grown up meeting

Picking Chelsea up from school...
Zach: guess what! We are going to go see dolphin tale!
Chelsea: I want it to be a surprise! Say we are going to a meeting.
Brandon: we are going to a very boring grown up meeting. You will have to just sit and be bored.
Chelsea: can we get candy for the meeting?
Brandon: nope, that would make it fun for kids, it has to be boring.
Chelsea starts sobbing.
Chelsea: I don't want to go to a boring grown up meeting, I want to go to a movie!


Z 6 years old
C 4 years old

Pinky and the Brain

Zach: are you thinking what I'm thinking, Chelsea?
Chelsea: that we should go to candyland and eat the ice cream flowers?!?


Z 6 years old
C 4 years old

No smoking

Zach: that sign says 'no smoking'. Thats a good thing. And it makes sense.
Chelsea: why does it make sense?
Zach: cuz smoking is bad for you! And even worse its bad for nature!
Chelsea: what is nature?
Zach: its the outside, its where all the animals live.
Chelsea: but I love koalas!

Z 6 years old
C 4 years old

Marry ME!

Ezri: Zach, did you know if you marry your sister then you will go to jail?!? So you cant marry Chelsea. You have to marry someone else. I will marry you.

Zach: I don't want to pick who I will marry yet.

Ezri: But Zach! You can marry ME!

Z 6 years old
E 5 years old

Swimming

Zach: You know, there is a pipe at my school that is close to breaking and if it does then my whole school is going to FLOOD!

Ezri: But I cant swim!

Zach: Is it because you have too many muscles? That's why I cant swim. My muscles make me sink sink sink!

Chelsea: I can teach you guys to swim! I'm a super good swimmer! I think anyway, mom always pulls me out when I cant touch and breath anymore.

Z 6 years old
C 4 years old
E 5 years old