Cat joke

Z:  Chels, I have a joke for you!  Where do good cats go to eat their cake??

C;  I don't know! I only have a bad cat!!

Z age 10 C age 8

Human body

Zach to Chelsea: Have you ever noticed how weird the human body is? I mean, seriously, it was invented this way!

Minnesota

Esper: I went to Minnesota before I knew you. It's really far away. They have a museum and a restaurant AND a grocery store!

Chelsea: Minnesota sounds AWESOME!  I want to go to Minnesota!

Only child

The morning after Zach leaves for camp.
Chels: Is it time to call Zach yet?
Me: We don't get to call him. We don't get to talk to him until we pick him up.
C: Seriously? That's not fair! No one said I couldn't even talk to him! All weeek?!? Oh my gosh!

At bedtime...
Me: How is it being an only child?
Chels: It's pretty fun. Except when we go out to dinner and I have to take everyone's straw wrappers and crunch it into a big ball because there are no kids there for me to talk to and play with.

Camp Time

Zach to Chelsea: Don't worry, I will only be at camp for 2 weeks. I'll be back in no time.

Me: Uhhh, what the heck? No! You are going to camp for 5 days!

Zach: What do you keep freaking out about and saying I am abandoning you for? 5 days is so fast! Are you kidding me?!

Gilmore Girls

Chelsea is obsessed with the Gilmore Girls. She is on the series finale and she starts doing the sprinkler to the opening credits. I just looked at her. She said "this is my sad sprinkler. My happy sprinkler doesn't work right now."

Chicken dog

Chelsea: At recess I am playing a nee game with my friends. I am a dog who thinks she is a chicken. Also, I am very lazy!

Age 7