Cereal killers

I pour a bowl of cereal for C. Turn to Z...
Me: want some cereal?
Z: I want some life.
Me: C just got the last of it. All we have is cheerios.
Z: Dang it!
C: You can have my life and I'll have cheerios.
Z: Aww! Thanks C!
C bursts into tears.
Me: What's wrong?!
C: I don't like cheerios!!
Me: then why did you offer?!
C: I didn't think he would accept!

Z 8 years old
C 5 years old

Knock Knock

Chelsea just walked up to me... Knock Knock!
Me: Who's there?
Chels: uhh... I thought that would make you do the joke...

C 4 years old

Cheetah

Zach: What do you hope your fortune says?
Chels: I hope mine says i will grow up to be a cheetah!

Z 7 years old
C 4 years old

Free suckers

Zach: I love free suckers they always taste so much better then suckers you have to buy.


Z 7 years old

lessons

I was singing to my kids before bed tonight and Zach tells me "Mom, I think for your birthday I am going to tell dad singing lessons would be a good idea. You need someone to teach you what singing is supposed to sound like"


Z 7 years old

paint my nails?

Chelsea: Hey, mamma? Can you paint my nails now?

Me: Hey, kiddo? You know I'm in the shower, right?

Chelsea:  Yeah, thats ok. I'll just hand you the bottle and stick my hand in!

C 4 years old

By myself

After dropping Zach off at school i asked Chelsea "are you going to go to school too and leave me all by myself??" She told me "yeah but you can hold my guinea. Even though im not there and you didn't ask."


C 4 years old